LIMITED TIME OFFER

For the first time in Jerk history, we are having an exclusive, invite only auction. The item for sale, you might be asking? Please see below.

Trash from Marty Shmemwoth's 1998 Corolla (left in shopping cart at Target in Alpharetta, Ga)

Not included: Large, black rubbery looking item (being donated to HJ Museum)











The auction will be held at Oscar "The Real Deal" Rainbow Memorial Auditorium on March 25th at 4 AM EST. If you would like to request an invite, please email oscarrainbow@gmail.com to inquire.

- Staff Auctioneer Sam Rosen's Plotka

Best of the last year

The best of the last 365 days at the Jerk, as voted on by an esteemed panel of judges:

* President Haboote Klonger

* Former eyelid model, Francene Bly

* That guy over there


12/2/11 Bodley rookie card for sale
12/23/11 Bison-Provo HS recap
1/1/12 Bison-Ruttlestown recap
1/18/12 Life evaluation list revealed
1/26/12 Bison-Kansas recap
2/3/12 Jesusman hired
2/6/12 Sanjay Lump assassinated
2/15/12 Von Schwii missing
2/29/12 Wendells
3/11/12 New organization formed
3/25/12 Ferris Bueller sequel titles
3/27/12 Winnepo-Jathaway IV set
4/23/12 DelRhinoceros breaks wind
4/26/12 Thursday afternoon baseball card auction
5/9/12 Hey Jerk basketball team formed
5/14/12 Ploops release first publicity photo
5/22/12 Al-PooKahKah finally on board
5/31/12 Celery woman found
6/1/12 ALERT: Larry Bird sighting
6/11/12 Football draft, round one
6/12/12 Football draft, round two
6/18/12 Durly era begins 
7/9/12 Rainbow goes 17th overall to Bison
7/10/12 Cast list announced
7/24/12 Editor Oscar Rainbow relocates
7/31/12 Day of reflection: a guide
8/23/12 Cast list announced
9/5/12 Little Danny: American hero
10/4/12 Police report
10/10/12 Merwood Dorris born
10/24/12 Henderson's original look identified
11/1/12 Beafort Festerfly Jr. takes over
11/11/12 Aunt Estelle on probation
11/20/12 Haboote Vongavich report released

Rare Card For Sale

The baseball card collection of Paco Bly, who Saturday evening was eaten by a rhino named Steve Garrison, is now available during the Jerk's 1st annual Auction & Lettuce Fight. The Bly collection, which includes the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers 'DEAD' card and the 2005 card depicting Bly without his pants and covered in fire ants, will have an opening bid of $12,000.

Tuesday Morning Auction

Today we have an autographed original of Cletus Busby handwritten directions. This item is hot, so make your offer ASAP. Bids begin at $4,000.



Please send all offers, along with a urinal cake, to oscarrainbow@gmail.com.


- Staff Auctioneer Chester Allamawadoo