[Updated 7:10 pm]
Duane Coobaw
Dottie Coobaw (pear)
Garret & chalkboard Coobaw
Callie Coobaw
T-Bobby Coobaw
Vince Coobaw & radish (Didi)
Jo he-Jo Pong
Wally Coobaw (water slide, 1988-1992)
Herm Coobaw
Herm Coobaw Jr. (stationery)
Orestes Coobaw
Sandra & Lionel Coobaw-Meese
Terrence Washington (dandelion spores)
Everett Cochran
J.J. Coobaw III + cotton sheets
Vivian Coobaw (Harriet)
Coco Coobaw
Dorothy Coobaw
The Flying Coobaws, featuring Wingless Wayne
Ernie "Toast Crumbs" Coobaw
October 17, 2016
September 8, 2016
A story of Eggs
KERMADOR - "About that time on the mustard slide? Just bill my antelope," said Gregory Eggs to his apple tree.
And so a classic (H)american story began.
Eggs, 51 in grass stains, and his collection of empty tomato sauce cans - Catherine, Randal Jr., Debra & Carl the Can - would later relocate to a self-storage facility in South Koob (source: Nunce Valley Times, May, 1955).
Cards and letters can be given to ice cube tray, who will deliver them to the nearest camel (Rod Becker) before the long, scenic trip through rural Bly Valley and on into the foothills of the Zadd Mountains.
Eggs' family, which chose to remain pancakeless, now chooses to "toss its batter to the world", according to family spokesmailbox, black with red flag.
And so a classic (H)american story began.
Eggs, 51 in grass stains, and his collection of empty tomato sauce cans - Catherine, Randal Jr., Debra & Carl the Can - would later relocate to a self-storage facility in South Koob (source: Nunce Valley Times, May, 1955).
Cards and letters can be given to ice cube tray, who will deliver them to the nearest camel (Rod Becker) before the long, scenic trip through rural Bly Valley and on into the foothills of the Zadd Mountains.
Eggs' family, which chose to remain pancakeless, now chooses to "toss its batter to the world", according to family spokesmailbox, black with red flag.
Eggs, during happier times
[Staff photo Jo he Jo Pong)
July 24, 2016
Hu, assistants accused of Percy persecution
John Hu, blog president for less than 12 episodes of Family Matters, has been accused of widespread Percy persecution (P.p.).
Several of Hu's cabinet members, including rubber bands (2), tacking paper, & a Chinese restaurant soy sauce packet, were also accused of the class-A misdemeanor (dry cleaner) in a report, Percy, Summer '16.
Percy Paulsen spoke in his bathrobe and a "Mo Yorlap For Governor" t-shirt on behalf of the alleged victims:
"Percy persecution? Not on my watch," Paulsen said, while searching the crowd for a watch.
New reports will be made available once certain availability levels, named C.J. Neville, are revealed by Neal (knee level).
Several of Hu's cabinet members, including rubber bands (2), tacking paper, & a Chinese restaurant soy sauce packet, were also accused of the class-A misdemeanor (dry cleaner) in a report, Percy, Summer '16.
Percy Paulsen spoke in his bathrobe and a "Mo Yorlap For Governor" t-shirt on behalf of the alleged victims:
"Percy persecution? Not on my watch," Paulsen said, while searching the crowd for a watch.
New reports will be made available once certain availability levels, named C.J. Neville, are revealed by Neal (knee level).
July 18, 2016
Hu Released, Takes Over Hey Jerk Presidency
Hu has been released from his incarceration at HJ Prison, where he had been held for the previous 13 months after being found guilty of Hippo genocide.
Hu
Hu, seen here immediately following his release, was later seen "lightly jogging" to the San Diego Zoo. His whereabouts are unknown, but it is believe he may have taken up camp in the Hippo enclave. Coded messages have been received every hour on the hour since his release, the latest of which was deciphered as:
"All Hail Hu. Hu is King."
Please join us in welcoming President Hu back (the 14th floor urinal is now off limits until further notice).
- Staff Hippo Aguy Wunce
Hu
Hu, seen here immediately following his release, was later seen "lightly jogging" to the San Diego Zoo. His whereabouts are unknown, but it is believe he may have taken up camp in the Hippo enclave. Coded messages have been received every hour on the hour since his release, the latest of which was deciphered as:
"All Hail Hu. Hu is King."
Please join us in welcoming President Hu back (the 14th floor urinal is now off limits until further notice).
- Staff Hippo Aguy Wunce
July 16, 2016
Glo makes team
WENDELL - The West Wendell football team had its final round of roster cuts Saturday morning, and local man Terry Glo was one of 54 players to earn a spot on the 2016 team.
Glo, a tomato back/slash, will wear jersey No. 37 and begins the year 4th on the mule chart, according to head coach Morris Mur.
"The young man said things, he built things. Heck, he shoveled things when we needed him to," said Mur, in his 36th year with West Wendell.
Glo is a 3rd-generation football player, following his father, Toodle (Retz County - 1988-1992), and his grandfather, Hocco (Gribbs Waffles - 1962-1969).
West Wendell finished the 2015 season with a 9-8 record, which included a loss to Selso Valley in the first round of the Jobeek Alomar Playoffs & Olive Bar.
Glo, a tomato back/slash, will wear jersey No. 37 and begins the year 4th on the mule chart, according to head coach Morris Mur.
"The young man said things, he built things. Heck, he shoveled things when we needed him to," said Mur, in his 36th year with West Wendell.
Glo is a 3rd-generation football player, following his father, Toodle (Retz County - 1988-1992), and his grandfather, Hocco (Gribbs Waffles - 1962-1969).
West Wendell finished the 2015 season with a 9-8 record, which included a loss to Selso Valley in the first round of the Jobeek Alomar Playoffs & Olive Bar.
July 15, 2016
Gurmer family list released
Gavin Gurmer
Gail Gurmer
The Gurmer (pickle juice)
Go Go Gurmer
Tito & Klak Gurmer
Gregory Gurmer
Glips & Gurmer (Jr.)
Zoo Zoo Gurmer
Gallio Clem-Gurmer
Geetwon Gurmer
All of the other Gurmers
G.G. Gwon
Kerwin Shouse
Gurmer!
Vince Gurmer & son (Jaleeko)
Garvey Gurmer
a German Gurmer
Eddie Gurmer
Celery Stalk
Go Go Gurmer
Gwen Gurmer (lettuce)
Yoyo Yo-Gurmer
Sal
(gurmer)
Glen Gurmer
Gail Gurmer
The Gurmer (pickle juice)
Go Go Gurmer
Tito & Klak Gurmer
Gregory Gurmer
Glips & Gurmer (Jr.)
Zoo Zoo Gurmer
Gallio Clem-Gurmer
Geetwon Gurmer
All of the other Gurmers
G.G. Gwon
Kerwin Shouse
Gurmer!
Vince Gurmer & son (Jaleeko)
Garvey Gurmer
a German Gurmer
Eddie Gurmer
Celery Stalk
Go Go Gurmer
Gwen Gurmer (lettuce)
Yoyo Yo-Gurmer
Sal
(gurmer)
Glen Gurmer
July 13, 2016
July 9, 2016
Chulio hired
After months of interviews, Kindly Remove Yourself From My Lawn (formerly 'List of Guys Named Wayne') has made a risky hire in bringing on board Saul Chulio.
Chulio, armless since the birth of twins Henry & Hillary Bergeron (May, 2013), will take on the role of staff attorney vacated by the disappearance of former staff member and current mule marriage counselor Capolo H.
Chulio, armless since the birth of twins Henry & Hillary Bergeron (May, 2013), will take on the role of staff attorney vacated by the disappearance of former staff member and current mule marriage counselor Capolo H.
Chulio's previous experience includes acting as lead counsel in the 2002 trial of Don Didier (Didier v the people of Birmingham, AL Greyhound Station) and was part of the legal team that reunited Janine Plouse with her sunglasses (winter, 1996).
The 48-year old, a former linebacker at the University of Akron, once ate a six-page late-night appetizers menu to win a bar bet.
June 21, 2016
May 10, 2016
Poo enters race
SOOSE CITY - Norman Poo, long rumored to be against running for public office, stunned several bird cages Tuesday afternoon when the 55-year old (in pumpkins) announced he's entering the 2116 presidential race.
Poo (olive loaf), has yet to pick a running mate, though former Oklahoma Sooners swim/dive coach Burt Grouse is the front-runner.
"I'm the front-runner," said Grouse.
Poo's history in politics began when he ran for and won the local election (city TBD) in 1984, then in 1988 made his acting debut as the Vice President on the made-for-TV movie President Parakeet.
Poo's bologna sandwich, Terrance declined comment.
Poo (olive loaf), has yet to pick a running mate, though former Oklahoma Sooners swim/dive coach Burt Grouse is the front-runner.
"I'm the front-runner," said Grouse.
Poo's history in politics began when he ran for and won the local election (city TBD) in 1984, then in 1988 made his acting debut as the Vice President on the made-for-TV movie President Parakeet.
Poo's bologna sandwich, Terrance declined comment.
May 3, 2016
For Sale: 1988 Nissan Altima - Mint Condition
Car (Otis)
Name: Otis Bradberry Sr.
Year: 1988
Make: Nissan
Model: Altima
Rear Bumber: No! (Left side eaten by rabid water buffalo)
License Plate: No!
Notes: *Bumper\Trunk string not included. Hose on right side of car leaks gasoline, not considered an issue.
$9900 OBO. Call Ned 555-NEDD.
Year: 1988
Make: Nissan
Model: Altima
Rear Bumber: No! (Left side eaten by rabid water buffalo)
License Plate: No!
Notes: *Bumper\Trunk string not included. Hose on right side of car leaks gasoline, not considered an issue.
$9900 OBO. Call Ned 555-NEDD.
April 28, 2016
Pock perishes
Another member of the Pock family has suffered the ultimate fate (mayonnaise) and passed on as Aurelio "Buttons" Pock fell out of his canoe and suffered what doctors are referring to as Pock's Disease (elbow pads) Thursday afternoon.
Pock was president of the United States of America But Just In Aurelio Pock's House from 1944-1966, then was engaged to a postage stamp named Trudy from 1970-1978, but the couple never married after it was learned that Trudy had already been licked and used on an envelope (cable bill, Henrietta).
Along with his brothers, Rory, Olin and Zez, Aurelio started the band It's Pock To Meet You and the group famously performed at a 1989 music festival while being chased by a mongoose.
Aurelio is survived by a drawing of a tape dispenser and his goldfish bowl, Stanley Sr.
Pock was president of the United States of America But Just In Aurelio Pock's House from 1944-1966, then was engaged to a postage stamp named Trudy from 1970-1978, but the couple never married after it was learned that Trudy had already been licked and used on an envelope (cable bill, Henrietta).
Along with his brothers, Rory, Olin and Zez, Aurelio started the band It's Pock To Meet You and the group famously performed at a 1989 music festival while being chased by a mongoose.
Aurelio is survived by a drawing of a tape dispenser and his goldfish bowl, Stanley Sr.
Berman family
Chris
Herman
Thurman
Sherman
Furman
Vermin
Nermin
Herman
Merman
Shu-Fong
Tito
Lil' Fella
Milwaukeebrewer
Ka-Ka
Ernie
April 22, 2016
Reggies
[updated 4/22/16]
Reggie Nerf
Reggie "Reg" Nikinlin
Reggie Jacksonian (Dublin, GA)
Reggie Bohmar
Reggie Gendamar
Reggie Zayne
"Reg"
Reggie Dodrop
Reggie Nerf
Reggie "Reg" Nikinlin
Reggie Jacksonian (Dublin, GA)
Reggie Bohmar
Reggie Gendamar
Reggie Zayne
"Reg"
Reggie Dodrop
March 28, 2016
Gallego passes on
Side of Route 84 - Millions were stunned to learn that Heeko Gallego, longtime bass player for Caramelized Back Brace and advocate for same-sex leaf counting, had been eaten by his pet raccoon, Renaldo.
The two had been living together since Renaldo first arrived on the planet last May 8.
Reports have been confirmed that Renaldo did, in fact use a dijon mustard to consume his former owner.
The Gallego family (tape measure) issued the following photograph of Gallego as an infant and started the bidding at $150:
The two had been living together since Renaldo first arrived on the planet last May 8.
Reports have been confirmed that Renaldo did, in fact use a dijon mustard to consume his former owner.
The Gallego family (tape measure) issued the following photograph of Gallego as an infant and started the bidding at $150:
Zondo announces candidacy
Bo Hunes - Everett Zondo has announced he will run for Tallest Citizen against "incumbent" Marty True in this fall's election.
Zondo's height will be revealed at a later date, though some believe the Yo County native could be as tall as 1,100 baby carrots.
"That's true, we do believe that," said one some.
Zondo has not yet announced his Bagel Runner, though the smart acorns are on either Solly Razz (ice cube) or Zondo's closest napkin, Terrance.
Other races:
Most Arm Freckles
Dennis D. Dro vs. Polly Wocka
Standing Furthest From That Water Fountain
Gail Glous vs. Pointing Percy
Sweatiest - over 40 division
Big Steve vs. Jill Kreimeier
Zondo's height will be revealed at a later date, though some believe the Yo County native could be as tall as 1,100 baby carrots.
"That's true, we do believe that," said one some.
Zondo has not yet announced his Bagel Runner, though the smart acorns are on either Solly Razz (ice cube) or Zondo's closest napkin, Terrance.
Other races:
Most Arm Freckles
Dennis D. Dro vs. Polly Wocka
Standing Furthest From That Water Fountain
Gail Glous vs. Pointing Percy
Sweatiest - over 40 division
Big Steve vs. Jill Kreimeier
February 8, 2016
Didier - A Family Reborn
Bruce and Dennis Didier, distant relatives of Tifko and Donald Didier, have been hired "to bring Didier tradition and values back to the firm", said CEO and Staff Dictator Aurelio Pock.
Bruce
Bruce
Bruce, formerly known as Wendell Pock, is a Capricorn that loves hikes on the moon and sunbathing with his pet ostrich, Marv. Dennis is a loser with no friends that wears adult diapers (for months at a time.)
Please join us in welcoming the Didiers to our office complex, into our homes (for extended periods of time), and into our hearts.
- Staff Moron Bob Feathers
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)