Thursday, December 18th - The Thunderdome!
Recap: Tip off at the Thunderdome was scheduled for 7 PM EST, but instead occurred around 4:32 AM this morning as both participants showed up at the dome in their underwear demanding the referees perform a jump ball. O'Leary, upon losing the jump ball to Johnson, pulled a .45 Magnum out of his undies and murdered Johnson as well as all referees and scorekeepers present, proclaiming himself the winner. He celebrated on the court by performing the macarena dance and drooling maniacally all over his chest hair before exiting the arena to the theme song of "Rocky."
Thursday, December 18th - Rainbow Facility for Idiots!
7 Weis, Charles
Recap: Rainbow Facility for Idiots was packed to the brim, with a sold out crowd of over 99,000. Holtz chose to enter riding his favorite pig, Francis, while Weis was carried in by 17 friends and family while eating a turkey leg. Holtz won the jump ball and immediately fell down. An accident on the floor by Holtz led to a 15 minute delay for clean up, and the game was resumed. Late in the 4th quarter, with the score tied 0-0, Weis finally finished his turkey leg and threw the bone at Holtz, who was attempting a layup from his wheel chair. Holtz screamed "communism!" and Weis ran down the court, ate Holtz, and scored the winning basket with 1 second left on the clock.
4 Mangino, Mark
Friday, December 19th - Metlife Stadium!
5 Pelini, Boseph
3 Freidgen, Ralph
Friday, December 19th - The Georgia Dome!
6 Beamer, Franklin