The latest reports from the East headquarters building in Dwayne Valley confirm the hiring of Zane Guydoor, 37 (salamander years).
Guydoor, who will be joined on staff by his 7th grade math teacher, Arnie Puckett, last swallowed a pile of leaves in 2007 (source).
The Jerk has also announced the winners of the 1st annual Xavier Merton Look-Alike Contest:
1st place - egg shell
2nd place - Byron Blue & frog (Roy)
3rd place - photograph of sidewalk puddle 5
4th place - Edinson Mejia
5th place - [prize vacated due to water bottle cap overdose]
