Live football draft today

The BPMFL (Bog Piso Memorial Football League) will begin its inaugural season in 2012. The league held its first-ever draft this afternoon. Here's a pick-by-pick analysis from staff editors Ernie Ploop (odd-numbered picks) and Capolo Henderson (even).

First round

1. Anderson County Vipers -E'Roc Torkelson, Feathers College & Worm Store. Torkelson, a WR/DB, impressed at the BPMFL combines in May, running a 15.7 in the coleslaw pool relays and having pinpoint control in the pine cone toss. Father, Dale played for the Missouri Battlers of the MWDL.

2. Portland Feet - Daniel Devito, Larry and Barry School of the Donkey. Devito, a widely known hippo enthusiast, is a surprise pick at two. Signability issues are a risk here, but the reward can be substantial for Portland, who hasn't had a 7-tool larry like Devito since Mitt Rockovitch in the late 70's.

3. Horace Valley - Paco Bagel, UCLA. Bagel makes history as the first half-balloon, half-man to be taken in the first round. Once ate 11 ash trays to win a bar bet.

4. Aardvark - Henry Foo, Chattahoochee HS.  Aardvark takes the first HS player chosen, Henry Foo. Foo is widely regarded as having a "can't miss" arm, but does offer a challenge for any squadron that chooses him in that he has a "making" problem. Foo will offer immediate competition at the QB spot with incumbent Kirk Ashirmin, who has one leg.

5. Toronto - Ike Oole, San Panetro State. Was MVP of the Bunson League in 1988 as a running back and played Merle in the play Pastrami! from 1990-1992. Ate a Oole family record 14 fire ants (August, 1995). Agent is Oscar Rainbow.

6. Cleveland Capolos - Eeh Twah, Twah Tech. Oldest draftee at 66, Twah decided to opt for a career change after 40+ years in the Ostrich business. Sports a 16.4 second 40 and 7 toes on his left foot.

7. Cleveland Browns - Terrance Bodderson, House of Jesus. Bodderson is the second quarterback taken in the draft, and may be the most polished, literally. A woman named Selma has been polishing Bodderson since the late-1980s. At college, Bodderson successfully converted a salamander into a hippo.

8. Team 4 Softball - "Big Ern" Freddy Ploop. Ploop, the self proclaimed "worst nightmare," is nicknamed "The Ploopinator," and with good reason. Once killed a giraffe during a 1952 pick up game outside Yankee Stadium. Only player taken thus far to have previously played professionally, as a tuba player in Pakistan.

End of first round