Conversations

Stockton Poop: say you were rich and bought the Redsox, what is the first thing you would do?

Dudrop Dwayne:  demolish Fenway Park, myself. I would do the demolishing.

SP:  hahaha, the whole thing yourself?

DD:  2. terminate David Ortiz's contract, then sell him to a team in Japan for 500,000 YEN

SP: Don't say 'yen'

DD:  3. change the name of the team to the Clepper County Cobwebs, for marketing purposes. 4. hire Stump Merrill as the new manager

SP: Stump Merrill?!

DD: "He's the man to take the Boston Redsox into the 22nd century". 

5. change the team slogan to that. 6. retroactive slayings of Manny Ramirez, Josh Beckett and who else...let's throw in Keith Foulke and Kevin Millar. 7. let hundreds of rabid mongoose loose on the field during a game. 8. demolish Stump Merrill Stadium. 9 disband franchise.

The Roles of Stan Van Gundy on the Detroit Pistons

Head Coach
General Manager
President
Vice President
Secretary
Juan Guagliardo
Point Guard
"The 4"
Peanut Vendor - East Wing
Urinal Cake
Ed Poppalo
Head of Gary Relations
Gas-Related Inquiries and Arrests
Chief Penguin Officer (CPO)
Head of Fat Men
Walrus
Trash Recepticle - Section 144
Center
Russian Prime Minister
Nascar Retail Sales - Southeast Region
Pat Zinn

- Staff Van Gundy Reporter Chip Pock

Conversations

Rainbow sends photo of Joba Chamberlain at around 10:50 p.m. EST, Monday, May 19th

Capolo (10:50 p.m.): Ahhhhh!!!!!!

Rainbow (10:51 p.m.): He looks like he's been hibernating in a cave "since winter"

Capolo (10:53 p.m.): Please, no!

Capolo (10:54 p.m.): And don't say 'since winter'

Rainbow (10:55 p.m.): If I had to see him, you had to as well. That's CONTRACTUAL.

[No Capolo response]

Rainbow (10:56 p.m.): I just saw a small Indonesian man fall out of his beard.

Benequez passes on

Armando Benequez
1938-2014

* Father of three (potato skins)
* Elbows: 2.3

Buried underneath a pile of hoagie rolls (May 6)