Walltortoise (DEAD)
It is believed that Randall was chewed on by a whale for hours and washed up on HJ shores due to "high tides" somewhere around 2 AM this morning. Staff Donut Hole Edward Chotch located the corpse while out for his morning wee wee.
"There was a body on the beach" - Ed Chotch
Walltortoise will be remembered for his excellent potato chip sandwiches and his fondness of Timbuktu. He leaves behind his wife of 88 years, Grizelda, and their pet monkey Juan (deceased).
Walltortoise's cubicle on the 14th floor is available for scavenging, first come first serve (I've got the can of black beans.)
- Staff Idiot Chuck Frozengard
