Hey Jerk Poem of the Week

"Poo!"

- Chester Wiggles

Poo.

Poo can be brown, poo can be green,
Poo can flung to make one unclean.
Poo can be smelly, poo can be gross,
Poo should be what everyone values the most.

Poo - its what we do.

Poo is enjoyable to all who move bowels,
Poo comes from bears, and lions, and owls.
Poo comes from humans, poos come from dogs,
Cats try to poo, but usually make logs.

Poo - its what we do.

So when you think "Hey, I might have to make!"
Think to yourself, should I go in the lake?
Because if you make in a toilet near you,
You'll be upset, because thats not optimal doo.

Poo - its what we do.

Oh no! Its almost here now, I feel it poking out,
If I dont find a spot, my hole's going to blow out.
Ahh! A shady spot behind an oak tree nearby,
Thank Goodness! That poopy smelled terrible, oh my!

Poo - its what we do.

Now be a nice girl, and cover it with dirt,
So walkers by dont smell it and squirt.
And next time you leave home without trying to doo,
Remember that poopies will happen to you.

Another Tuesday Poem

How Do You Know You've Pooed Your Pants?

By: Scooter Doonesbury

How do you know you've pooed your pants?
First of all, there's the "potty dance."
You feel that urge - you have to push.
What to do?!? Is there a nearby bush?

The warm and gooey mixture drips
Down your legs - My God it's thick!
Next comes the odor; it's worse than you thought.
Then... your attempt to cover your butt.

How do you know you've pooed your pants?
When you try to clench but you just... just can't!
Into the trash with your underwear.
Oh gross. It's gotten into your leg hair.

Hey Jerk Tuesday Afternoon Poem

"Eminations of a Walrus"

By Bennington Augustus Jonesly

A walrus is a beautiful animal,
it passes gas in fantastic ways.
But a walrus also has odor that can kill,
and puts even the strongest banana in a daze.
So when you deal with these beasts,
make sure you bring your anti-smelly spray.
Walrus odors make for an odoriforous feast,
and make you smell like doody, they just may.

Staff Contributer Shensen Queh Slain

Shensen Queh, staff contributor, has been slain.

Queh

It is believed that Queh was slain due to his allegiance to the Glenn camp, as backlash by the Crugg camp for the Glenn hiring of yesterday.

At the funeral service, Fob Quinkley (ABC's, A-L), long time Queh compatriot, wrote a remembrance poem:

"Shensen Queh, smelly feet,
Shensen Queh, pet parakeet.
Shensen Queh, turtle shell,
Shensen Queh, go to hell."

RIP Queh.

More to come.

- Shensen Queh, Staff Contributor