Lind/Braybush Enter Race in '10

Back from the dead, Braybush reconsiders his position, decides to run with Lind in '10.

"I'm back." said Braybush.




- Staff Correspondent Beauregard Fimmons

Braybush Goggles Now Available

Keep the mustard out of your eyes with Hey Jerk-brand Braybush Goggles.


$75 each
For a limited time, email oscarrainbow@gmail.com to order.

Fimply Five Invade, HQ Blown Up

In shocking news, the Fimply Five have invaded Hey Jerk Headquarters and blown it to pieces.

"The place was full of Xomcheese's" said the Five, through their interpreter, Helicopter Fimply.

Jerk Staff was forced to move fast, but managed to evade any deaths outside that of Emmitt Braybush, Staff Pincher. No one was particularly sad to see him go.

Braybush (Dead)





Fimply Five



In response to the hostile invasion, Staff Luminary Brooble Fonchonski vowed revenge.

"They won't get away with this unscathed," said Fonchonski, "We've got Xomcheeses already on the prowl."

More updates to come in the wee hours of the night.

- Staff Correspondent Cluff Clovven

Not Pictured: Plombshire Crugg

Braybush, living on Crugg-Fonchonski's Nose, Dead

The version of Emmitt Braybush that was extremely small and living on Buck Crugg-Fonchonski's nose has perished. While the immediate cause of death is unknown, it is thought to have involved "boogers."


- Staff Xomcheese Ed Xoncheese

Two Die in Explosion

Murray, who was running for Staff Somebody against Emmit Braybush in a winner-take-all election, died in an explosion, late Friday evening.

Rocco Frompley also died.

According to staff dentist, Devito, neither will be missed.

Braybush Billboard Kicks Off Campaign

Braybush Hired

Emmit Braybush has been hired as Staff Pincher, effective May, 2013, according to an onion familiar with the situation. Braybush previously worked at an air store, selling wind sandwiches to imaginary coyotes.

His wife, chandelier, had no comment.



Braybush, 1983