No More Booby

Staff Handyman Cleveland X. Booby, one of the most hated staff members in Jerk history, has been fired, according to a waffle iron with waffles of the situation.

Booby, who finished an embarrassing 11th in the 1992 ear lobe election, was responsible for the murder of "more than 20 goldfish" (Qwerce Valley Times, May, 1997) and helped defeat longtime Jerk rival the Klinehorsts in the 2009 national Brussel Sprout Fight championship match.

Booby's family-a ketchup bottle named Sal and a photograph of a lawnmower-declined comment.

"I Had a 7.2 - The Oscar Rainbow Story"

The story about a man and a morning built on lies, betrayal, evacuation, space men, police tape, toilets on trial, industrial-strength hoses, more police tape and romance.


Starring...

Oscar Rainbow as himself
Ardis Bryson as Prosecuting Attorney Schmidt
Hillary Von Sway as herself
Mark Rooso as Professor Zipp
T.P. Tinsley as the talking ice cube
Lionel Wood as brussel sprout fight coordinator
Pete Muskie as turd #4
Bernadette Paul as Judge Brooks
Stuart Fratkin as Poo Murdock
Amanda Pratt as Evil Jessica


And introducing Morris Pickford as the tinkle historian


IN THEATERS FEBRUARY 1!!

Frozengard Fired

Hey Jerk has announced the firing of hobo Chuck Frozengard. Staff Leader Fat Neck Glenn said Frozengard was let go "for stealing office supplies and inciting more than three brussel sprout fights within a calendar year."

Frozengard will remain on payroll for the remainder of the year until he can pay back the thousands of dollars, and dozens of raccoon feet he owes the blog.

A new hobo had not been announced at press time.