Nerdling: DEAD

Ned Nerdling
1938-2011

* Inventor of the Ned Nerdling Experience roller coaster ride
* Once ate 17 tree branches
* Piloted a killer wheelbarrow during The War of Many Nerdlings
* Married to a mailbox, Valerie (July, 2007)
* Divorced (August, 2007) after an argument over a A&P advertisement

Baga Dies In Wheelbarrow Crash

Staff felon Wixom Baga died Monday evening in a wheelbarrow accident. The 42-year old, longtime wheelbarrow enthusiast and married to a wheelbarrow, Samantha, crashed into the Capolo River after leaving a salami function.

Baga left behind a turtle-shaped sprinkler, a small bag of toenails and his Banana Gentry bobblehead doll, which was covered in dead spiders.

Job Finished: Fonchonski Dead

Good news out of Hey Jerk camp as Mrooble Fonchonski, former interpreter/chef, was murdered by a killer wheelbarrow early Wednesday morning. Fonchonski's widow, Caufau, said she will not miss Mrooble and neither will anyone at the blog.

Funeral services were canceled due to lack of water chestnuts.


- Staff correspondent Bump Biggsley