Buckley wins mayor's race

It was an historic Friday morning as Trevontae-Qwom "Buck" Buckley was declared the winner of the Hey Jerk mayor's race.

Buckley, who was born on the planet Werz-14 and with two noses and one ankle-foot, making him a "sub-Durly" according to the Queh Dictionary, defeated the incumbent, Sh'Hensen Pepano by more than 18,000 votes.

Hey Jerk 2013 Mayor Race

Winner - Buckley, Trevontae-Qwom  18,557 votes
Runner-up - Sh'Hensen Pepano     493
3rd - Little Timmy Tapinsky  340
4th - Zoff  76
5th - Ernie Crugg Jr.  58
6th - Nadine Crugg   57

Write-in votes

The ghost of Herman Puckett - 9
Beckman Goolie  - 7
C. Vanderells Bwon -  4
Mordecai Three-Finger Brown  - 3
Capolo Henderson  - 1
Wayne Tolleson's 1988 Topps baseball card - 1

Editor's Secret Illustrations Revealed

Hey Jerk has just obtained the secret illustrations of editor Capolo, who is believed to have created the art works during his two-week stay at Muresan Asylum earlier this month.

The first drawing is called "Timmy Tinkles", and according to Capolo's barely-legible notes from his stay at Muresan the illustration is worth "over 1,000 penguins".



The second drawing is thought to be Capolo's version of Antenna Man, a popular, 1960s superhero from Uruguay. In Capolo's notes, he mentions meeting Antenna Man underneath a kitchen sink in 1975, and also threatens to kidnap a hot dog bun.



The final piece is an autograph of Beckman Goolie, Capolo's alter-ego from 1998 until just a few days ago when Goolie was killed in a mayonnaise spill.




- Source: Hey Jerk Library, copyright 2011