Hey Jerk would like to announce the arrival of the Benson family with the hiring of Claude Benson as Staff Benson.
Claude's responsibilities will include the transportation and de-breading of Bensons, as well as be a translator for editors Capolo and Bob Feathers when the pair heads to Uruguay in the summer for the annual Lettuce Toss.
The 35-year old's experience includes three years as an editor at the periodical Carpet Cleaner Overdose Obituaries and nearly a decade as Trevon Simmons' personal bus seat sniff tester.
- Benson correspondent Beckmann Goolie Jr.
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