April 28, 2011

New Family On Board



Hey Jerk would like to announce the arrival of the Benson family with the hiring of Claude Benson as Staff Benson.

Claude's responsibilities will include the transportation and de-breading of Bensons, as well as be a translator for editors Capolo and Bob Feathers when the pair heads to Uruguay in the summer for the annual Lettuce Toss.

The 35-year old's experience includes three years as an editor at the periodical Carpet Cleaner Overdose Obituaries and nearly a decade as Trevon Simmons' personal bus seat sniff tester.


- Benson correspondent Beckmann Goolie Jr.

No comments: