Pechenko Dies

Louie Pechenko died Wednesday afternoon of an imaginary squirrel attack, according to the I.S.A.A. Pechenko, who had many roles at the blog, including staff notepad, mashed potato inspector and Jennington murder detective #6, is survived by his bathroom sink, Stan.

Pechenko Hired

In a move that was nearly seven pepperoni slices in the making, the Jerk has announced the hiring of Louis "Louie" Pechenko. The 63-year old Urgugagian will perform several functions at the blog, including Staff Notepad, Jennington Murder Detective #6 and Mashed Potato Inspector.

As per the blog's no-Jimpo-earring-policy, Pechenko will have to remove his Jimpo earring before his first day on the job, scheduled to be sometime in late-October.


- Staff Pechenko Correspondent Mark Ruso