Beisbol-Durly born

The Beisbol and Durly families announced the birth of P'qwon Beisbol-Durly, who arrived on planet Pepano Tuesday at 11:53 PM.

The parents, Ronaldo Beisbol and Hashonney Durly, said their new son was 133-pounds, 11 ounces and wearing pink, striped pants, and that he has already landed an assistant manager position at the Conyers (GA) Burger King.

His nose was named Pierre.

Visiting hours are Friday and Saturday from 9:30 a.m.-1:00 p.m., and visitors are encouraged to bring young Beisbol-Durly a slice of salami.

Ernger Sanchules, Hippo Enthusiast, Dead; Son Born

Ernger Sanchules, long time Staff Gorilla, was found eaten this morning by a hippo that he had apparently mated with in the wee hours of the morning.

Sanchules / Hippo Mating Photo (Taken at Sanchules Mansion)



It is believed that after the act of passion between man and hippo was completed, Sanchules was subsequently eaten by his mate, Ted.

We here at the Jerk were extremely saddened by this, until we learned of a baby concieved and birthed as the result of this "match made with a hippo." At 4:33 PM EST today, Ernger Jr., named after his late father, was born.

Ernger Jr.


Rather than sticking with the family business of Gorilla-ing, Ernger Jr. has decided to fill another necessary role here at the blog, Staff Giraffe.

" I was born for this." said Ernger Jr.

Please join us in mourning Ernger Sanchules Sr. and welcoming his son, Ernger Jr.

- Staff Correspondent Beauregard Fimmons

New McAfferty Born

Milliliter McAfferty
.1 OZ

New McAfferty Born

Liter McAfferty
.2 OZ

Xavier Holmschmitt Born

Siblings: Rimbert (brother), Cashanda (half-sister), Brum (peanut)

Frompley III born

Staff Meteorologist Rocco Frompley and his wife, Nunk-Von4, would like to announce the birth of Roccocamoe Diddinger Frompley III, born at 1:22 p.m.



Birth stats

Height: 3 inches
Weight: .7 lb