A new era at the Jerk has begun as the multi-potato organization announced the Friday morning hiring of Alfred Hamburgerson Jr. as staff Deondre McGrue.
Hamburgerson Jr., the son of that guy sitting over there, was captain of the San Antonio Vipers semi-pro basketball team during the Minestrone Boom of the 1980s and in 1986 faded away on Stefan Christenson to put the Vipers up 7-4 in the early stages of a key March game.
"It turned the season around, that fadeaway," said a stick of butter named Harold Kline.
Hamburgerson's duties on staff will be to recruit other Deondres, massage Capolo Henderson's elbows, and to teach the rest of the staff the Alfred Hamburgerson Song:
[lyrics not found]
- Correspondent Linda Jiggaboo
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