After the game, Lamar coach Pat Knight was declared missing.
Pat Knight (Whereabouts Unknown)
Director of Basketball Operations Kermit Holmes released a statement to the public:
"While we all miss coach Knight immensely, this case is most likely better left unsolved. After the game, I personally witnessed Mr. Knight relieving himself on a small child in the 4th row behind the team bench, then throwing his pants violently at a portly woman and screaming ' Long Live Warren Shleglo!' Our last known location of Mr. Knight was running into traffic on Main Street in his underwear. Unfortunately, his dinky was hanging out. We wish Mr. Knight the best in his search for his 'inner self.'"
Kermit Holmes
- Staff Lamar Man Dinkus Wright
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