Werner Peepants: Never Had a Shot

Werner "Tinkle" Peepants came to this planet with the hopes of life without boundaries. He had grown up on the war-ridden Smello, the second moon of the super-planet Vremoth. Like all Smellonians, Peepants dreamed of making it in life. He just wanted a shot at things. A long time pants pee-er, Werner thought he had an advantage over all of the other inhabitants of Smello. He thought his rare combination of skill and attractiveness could land him a gig on Earth, specifically at the international famous blog HJGOML.

Unfortunately for Peepants, he was dead wrong.

Werner Peepants (Deceased)


Werner finally made it to Jerk HQ early Tuesday morning, and was greeted by Staff Dead Person Chung Fonway. Peepants began to speak.

"Hi, Im Werner Peepants from the planet Smel..."

Fonway had heard enough. He immediately pulled out his machete and decapitated Ol' Peepants, ending his existence. The man had traveled across the stars for a shot at life, only to meet his demise at the doorstep of his dreams. Peepants remains will be left at the doorstep until they decay and eventually become part of the Earth.

Movie scripts are already being written to chronicle the story of Werner "Tinkle" Peepants. Some of the names being floated around right now are:

• Werner Peepants: The Man, The Pee, The Pants
• Peepants is DEAD, Move On With Your Lives, Please
• The Planet Smello and it's President, Werner Peepants: A Biopic of a Smellonian's Mission to Gain Freedom
• A Cricket Match with Werner Peepants: How to Win at Cricket Within 30 Days or Your Money Back
• Werner Made Peepee But a Little Doo Came Out

Look for one of these exciting movies to be released soon at a theater near you.