The Jerk has announced a blockbuster hiring as Vic Shealy has been brought on as staff defensive coordinator. Shealy, formerly the coordinator at Kansas University, was left in the middle of a mud field after his defense allowed 1,400 yards to Georgia Tech in a loss Saturday.
"We had a game plan and we executed it," Shealy said of Kansas' 103-19 loss. "I thought we put together an excellent performance, but as we were boarding the plane, ready to head back to Lawrence (Kansas) for a post-game celebration and potato fight, all of a sudden the rest of the team is on the plane and I'm nude in the corner of the airport. A lady named Millie took me in and gave me a graham cracker, sent me on my way. Anyway, I'm looking forward to this opportunity with Hey Jerk. That Frozengard youngster has serious odor problems and I'm looking forward to teaching him the 3-4 defense and showing him how to clean up a wide receiver's underpants."
The Jerk has also brought on several former Kansas defensive backs, who Shealy described as "the guys you want to find apple cores with". Shealy is expected to start soon, pending a rhinoceros physical.
2 comments:
Shealy '17
This Vic Shealy guy could change lives.
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