Oberman Found

Kwekitch County, 3:17 p.m. GST - Ross Oberman was found underneath his living room couch lecturing a corn chip on the importance of staying with the group. The 37-year old has been down there since Tuesday, according to a piece of white bread with knowledge of the situation. In a statement released through his lawyer, Oberman will emerge from the couch in time for the annual Kwekitch City Players benefit concert to raise awareness of rain puddles, July 14. He will also travel, by-termite, across the country for a series of seminars on edible junk mail. Oberman's wife, Napkin, declined comment.



Oberman [photo taken July 7]