**BREAKING**
Vince Shermania, internationally renowned gospel artist and No. 2 draft pick of the Murfreesboro Bandits, has been released from his obligation to the team after several tense negotiations went nowhere.
"They were offering 4 kumquats, and I was firm with my demand of 7 diapers."
Shermania, widely referred to as "The Stapler Assassin," becomes a free agent, effective immediately. Expect many teams to be interested in Shermania, specifically the Anchorage Beluga, desperately in need of a young SS to replace aging fan-favorite, Berek Feter.
No details have been released at this time, but it is believed that after negotiations stalled, Shermania started screaming hysterically and murdered Murfreesboro GM Jed Sanchules. Shermania's current whereabouts are unknown, but any tips should be directed to Sergeant Gary Shubkin, Capolo Township PD.
- Trent
No comments:
Post a Comment