Upon entering HQ this AM for his Friday morning shift, Staff Assface Fip Ugglesby noticed an odd stench. "It smelled like rotting iguana mixed with human urine, and it was coming from the direction of Rainbow's cubicle."
Ugglesby decided to investigate, and was not surprised at what he found. "Rainbow was chowing down on Fetus Claymore, longtime Staff Dummy. He had just finished his right arm, and was moving towards the genitalia region. Thats when I contacted the authorities. "
Claymore (Dead)
Local Detective Tristan Pooha was on the scene in less than 10 minutes, and did not have an easy time subduing Mr. Rainbow. "He was just finishing off the left testicle and was screaming something about 'revolution' when I got in. It took me and 4 other officers to subdue Mr. Rainbow and throw him in the back of the van."
Fetus Claymore will be remembered as being a pleasant fellow, and for his frequent "Egad!" exclamations during 4th period history. Mr. Rainbow is being incarcerated and will be placed in Hey Jerk Jail.
- T. Bibswitch
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