Capernick Found Dead

Edwin Capernick was found deceased this morning, under a urinal in the southeast 4th floor bathroom. The scene was immediately roped off for investigation, with local legend Detective Tristan Pooha on the case.

Capernick (Dead)


While the murder is fresh and investigation has just begun, Pooha's initial reaction was that this case was a "murder."

Pooha released the following statement:

"It is currently unclear what the motive was, or how Mr. Capernick was slain. However, we have found a note next to the body that states 'I killed Capernick with a sharpened piece of human fecal - Scallion Golfspeed.' This leads us to believe that perhaps Mr. Golfspeed was involved, but until we get the chance to interview him, he is not a person of interest in this case."

Edwin Capernick was known for his experience in his Staff Jump Rope position. Noted prior positions include Jump Rope positions at rival blogs XomcheeseSalamiInc.Blogspot.Com and OscarRainbowSmellsLikePigUrine.Blogspot.Com, as well as at Wendy's.

Capernick was long despised at this blog, and while we in no fashion endorse the death of any staff members, we endorse this murder and fully support the freedom of the eventually discovered murderer.

- T. Bibswitch