Fat Neck's Cousin Hired

Staff President Fat Neck Glenn showed some family allegiance today and hired on his cousin, Fred Minkus. Minkus is a paper bag from the Whole Foods Grocery Chain, and will take on the role of Staff Whole Foods Paper Bag.

Minkus


Minkus, who is an avid anti-Rainbow activist, is widely known to be an active assassin and quite possibly interested in offing Oscar Rainbow altogether. Being that Rainbow is currently incarcerated, however, Minkus will most likely bide his time as Staff Whole Foods Paper Bag until Rainbow escapes from or blows up the asylum and returns to The Jerk, pantsless.

- Staff Rainbow Correspondent Woodford W. Chotchke III