The Hey Jerk headquarters building was rocked by a mashed potato invasion late Friday night, the third such invasion in the area in the last 75 years. Several staff members, including staff tree Teddy Pinecone and staff chimp Hongee Hangy, went missing after the attack. According to staff leader Fat Neck Glenn, the incident may have had something to do with editor Capolo's "I Have Mashed Potatoes in my Pants" speech from last weekend's Butter Fest.
- Staff invasion correspondent Grongo Zax
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