Sad/happy news out of Jerk headquarters Monday evening as staff urinal Greg Gregson was murdered by editor Oscar Rainbow. Gregson, who penned the now-famous "Fonchonski Hired" post from early Monday, was stuffed with poisonous dandelion spores and then pushed off a cliff. Rainbow, who was against the Gregson-Fonchonski-Cheddar alliance that threatened to turn the 2022 election into "Poddy Nonsense" (Hey Jerk Newsletter, August 2, 2010), showed no remorse for his actions.
"I haven't shown any remorse for my actions, and I don't plan to," said Rainbow. "I've had enough of the Fonchonskis and as soon as I heard Gregson was aligned with that family, I took matters into my own nostrils."
Gregson is survived by his pet paper clip, Darryl.
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