The battle everyone at Jerk headquarters has been waiting will take place this September, according to a napkin with knowledge of the situation. Staff Cecil Fielder Cecil Fielder will battle Staff Loser/Dead Person Chung Fonway in a pinch-to-the-death, September 17 at Capolo Amphitheatre. Each fighter will get to choose which condiment he wishes to use, Polynesian sauce excluded, as well as his go-to insult. Insults to choose from:
1. "Doody Head"
2. "Rory"
3. "Didier"
The competitors will also participate in a nude highway scream/sprint. Details to follow.
- Staff Fielder/Fonway correspondent Alan Russo
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