New Staff Paulfield Hired

Morahead Paulfield, distant niece of recently deceased Paul and Pauool Paulfield, has been hired on to take on the vacant Staff Paul Paulfield Position.

"I'm honored that someone would kill my brethren to give me that extra push I needed to get into office," said Morahead Paulfield, "and I may even enter a ticket."


Paulfield



In other news, recently slain Barry Ossining has been replaced by cousin Barrold Ossining, claiming the role of Staff Barry.


Ossining

Ossining makes no promises as to his performance after his hire. Both will start effective immediately and will be present in Jed O'Schmallfoot's weekly planning meeting tomorrow morning.

- Staff Correspondent Dungo Templeton