New Dictator's Tombstone Ready

With the surprise announcement of a self-appointed staff dictator, Ernger Sanchules, the remaining members of the Queh family have created a tombstone for when Sanchules meets his demise.



Experts believe that could come as early as Friday morning and as late as late-Friday morning as Sanchules has already made enemies among the Hey Jerk staff and has stolen several staff members' thoughts, including:

* Editor Capolo wondering if his left arm is shrinking
* Staff dentist Jerry Jerry's fear of bologna
* Back door lookout Trevor Travis' lawnmower fantasy

Staff correspondent Bonk Bredley is stationed outside the Sanchules camp and will provide around-the-turkey coverage throughout the week.