December 10, 2009

LIVE BLOG - ROUND 2 OF GIRAFFE DRAFT




Round 2

[Analysis by Capolo & Oscar Rainbow]


16. Vin Valley - Pu Rennin - Wimperlong State. Third-oldest giraffe to be drafted (44). Stock fell after infamous mashed potato hot tub photos surfaced on internet (September, 2009).

17. Harry Cosgrave City - Larry - N/A. Only hippo to ever be drafted in giraffe draft. Also employed as part-time writer for Hey Jerk.

18. Hensley Park Raptors - Ish'fy Clemente - N/A. First foreign-born giraffe taken. Impressed scouts with his vertical leap despite having only five vertebrae. Favorite TV show: Nostril Ricardo & Friends

19. Ottawa Gorillas - D. Devito - Frompsberg State. Ottawa taking a gamble here drafting Devito a second time in case their initial discussions fall through. Also want to have a chance to steal Devito back from rival Ottawa squad should they have discussions with Devito. D. Devito once ate an entire ostrich (February, 1904) without burping.

20. Boise (from Olten Bureau) - Konko - West Corcoran. Taken in 2008 Giraffe Draft but returned to school to finish degree in Pigeontonics.

21. Toronto Terriers - Seth - East Australia U.



Drafted strictly on potential of having only three toes.

22. West Poppadopalis - Ollie Shane - Poob Technical Institute. Lacks ossified cartilage, but still ran a 19.4 40-yard dash during pre-draft combine. In January, 2006, ate car battery to impress a female giraffe, then threw up battery to win village talent show.

23. Ottawa Capolo's - Pinto Hama'ale - Hawaii Institute of Large Animal Veterinary Science. Voted "Deepest in nostril tongue reach" Hawaii Central HS Class of '88.

24. Fort Brunson - Ceng Zu - Hoilioke College.



Joins former college teammate Ernie 7 as 2009 draft picks. Currently housing a family of chipmunks in his left ear.

25. New York Pygmy Rhinos - Forfeit pick. New York looking to cut back on giraffe league record $14 dollar payroll for 2010, decides to forfeit draft pick, leaving D. Devito available for subsequent squads.

26. Sacramento Salmon - T'Qweeshawn Early - Plum College & Discount Shoe Repair.

First giraffe taken from the Thornicroft subspecies. Able to play all five positions and has experience swallowing mice whole.

27. Norway Schlotzky's - J. Candy - Aunt Estelles Gifted Giraffes. Since the release of Candy's film "The Great Outdoors," Candy focused his talents on becoming a giraffe. First giraffe to weigh over 400 lbs in human form.

28. Dallas - Goo Thomason - N/A. Expansion team's first-ever draft pick completes 21-year old trade. Thomason's former wife, Ingrid Lanthom (rhinoceros), traded to Cleppinger for pine cone sandwich and giraffe to be named later (June 7, 1988).

29. Anchorage - Freezy "Chips" Yonnsho - Montana State A&M. 27'9", 4,445 lbs. Larger as far as giraffes are concerned, Anchorage takes a gamble on Freezy based on physical proportions. Freezy has never giraffed and will need several years of seasoning in the minors. Thought of as potentially a seven-tool athlete.

30. Shonsen City - Blinky - N/A. Deceased (earthworm overdose).

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