Rollie Massimino, Staff Idiot and Staff Basketball Coach, has been forcefully removed from his position here at The Jerk. While Massimino amassed a 4 - 912 record over roughly 7 seasons as Coach, it was believed he had the program heading in the right direction and the pundits were calling him "Rollie Massimino." However, Massimino got himself into deep doo-doo when he was found pleasuring himself in the 4th floor pantry while simultaneously eating a crouton sandwich.
Massimino (Fired)
Massimino will be remembered as a solid, portly man with a penchant for fried bumblebees and relaxing candlelight dinners with this partner Eddie the Antelope.
Clean-up has been initiated in the 4th floor pantry and all perishable items will be discarded.
- Trent "Bobcat" Bibswitch
