Fimchonchko
Fimchonchko Statement:
"I'm discouraged by the acceptance of this job by me, Simfonia Fimchonko. In the early '60's, I was a man on the rise. I was sipping on Busch Light's by the pool, livin' the large life. Since then, I've worked at Wendy's, Popeye's, and in the grapefruit porn industry. I guess working for this shithole of a blog is what it has come to."
While it is not known why the Jerk hired on this loser, it's sure to make waves throughout HQ.
- Jetpack Jones, Staff Lead Correspondent