**BREAKING** - Bellafunkus Members Missing/Deceased

Oslo, Norway - Breaking news this morning has revealed the death of Little Corbett Bellafunkus, and the disappearance of Ainsworth-Apple Bellafunkus. The incidents are not believed to be related.

Bellafunkus

Didier Bellafunkus, band spokesperson and mule captain, released the following statement:

" While Bellafunkus always aimed to please the masses and provide wholesome, family type music for all to enjoy - we also despised Little Corbett and decided to kill him. As far as Ainsworth-Apple - no one cares."

Local Oslo police have been apprised of the situation, and all inquiries or tips should be directed at Oslo Police Commissioner Nabozz Scalapini at nscallops47@gmail.com.

- Staff Idiot Oscar Rainbow