Maglio passes; Lump committe formed

A true hero in every sense of the word (in) passed away earlier today. Joseeph "Joey" Maglioso died of pen cap overdose in his home in the Northwest corner of the basement inside Hanley Clemente's home.

Maglioso, who went by "Joe Maglio" for years while traveling with the Wentworth Family Circus & Ripped Notebook Paper Sympathizers, was beloved by millions and perhaps even hundreds. Maglio, 61.7 at the time of his departure, left four drawings of roast beef sandwiches on graph paper.

Lump committee formed

The Committee That Knows What Happened to Warren Lump (R.W.C.) has formed in response to Maglioso's death. The committee will now meet each Thursday to discuss Warren Lump-related matters, including:

1. Where is Warren Lump?
2. Lump's best friend, raisin
3. The Lumps tribute song - Baked Maglio
4. Warren Lump Pastries LLC

The committee:

Chairman: Fofo Foffawitz
CEO: Fofo Foffawitz-Calhoun Jr.
Secretary: Eddie Pock Sr.
VP: Yasmine Pennypoo
Associate VP: Perry Woddles
Banana Curator: Paul Wiggums
Notes: Igloo Sherman
Catering: Darren Durly
IT Support: Guido Castellana
Private Investigations: Lyle Zump

Chief of Urinal Fire Incidents: O-ho Oh

- Dominic Domdimmoggio contributed to this story