BIRD BREACH - PLEASE REMAIN CALM

Larry Bird has been spotted in the conservatory on the 701st floor at HQ.

Bird

While Mr. Bird seems to be calm and stable mentally, it is believed that he is armed with a ".45 glock" and should be considered extremely dangerous.

Bird's nose, Henderson, is believed to be relieving himself in the east wing restroom.





The Larry Bird Alarm has been "rung" and the evacuation has begun. DO NOT attempt to confront Lawrence Bird at any time. The sight of Mr. Bird can leave one paralyzed, which then leads to the famous "Bird Gaze" from Bird which can turn one to mayonnaise.

The Bird Police will be on site shortly with the spaceman suits and atomic bombs.

- Management