May 2, 2012

Petunia Hired On Probationary Basis

2:11 p.m. WST - The Jerk has announced the hiring of William "Linguini Neck" Petunia on a probationary basis. Petunia, who fought for the Quesh in the Zybo-Sher interplanetary war of 2002 and married an ice cube in July, 2007, will begin at an entry-level position massaging potatoes in the basement of the headquarters building.

It is believed Petunia was not immediately given a full-time position because of his unsightly third eye, and because of his paper clip eating problem.













Petunia's giant, blue shoe, Terry refused comment.

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