Rainbow Put On Van Gundy Alert

Breaking news from HQ as longtime editor and insane asylum resident Oscar Rainbow has been put on "Van Gundy Alert," effective immediately.

Rainbow

Officials had little information, but did mention that Van Gundy Alert is a state that "no one would want for their children." Apparently, it implies that a person looks like Jeff Van Gundy, and may need to be shot on sight. This marks another unfortunate development in the saga of Rainbow, who has been seen in the woods, at the asylum, and on Jupiter in recent weeks. Fellow editor Capolo Henderson offered his thoughts:

"I can't say I'm surprised. Oscar has been heading in this direction for years, and now he's officially a Jeff Van Gundy look-alike. It's somewhat sad, but it was his fate. Now we all just have to hope that he can be dealt with in a somewhat civil manner, because if not, the only way these things resolve themselves is through military force."

If spotted, please call the Van Gundy Squad at 6. Dr. Rainbow should be considered dangerous with an intent to Van Gundy. Please keep a distance of at least 17 feet as Rainbow may bite, spreading his Van Gundy to the general population.

- Staff Rainbow Man Warren Lump