Alistair Savootchky On Board

Alistair Savootchky, one of 14 remaining Savootchky's remaining alive in the wild, surfaced today at HQ and was immediately hired as Staff Nolan Ryan, pending a Nolan Ryan Nostril Hair background check.

Savootchky



Savootchky has been in hiding for over 4 decades, as he was under federal investigation for testicle-hair laundering in the late 50's. Before the government could convict, Savootchky escaped to the jungle. He was last seen purchasing a pair of loafers in a shop in Portland in 1988.

Bio

Name: Alistair Quintis Savootchky
Age: 93
Sex: Unknown
Partner: Warren Savootchky
Height: N/A
Weight: N/A
Nose: yes
Comments: Enjoys gorilla hunting, Derwood Morris 4EVA, swimming the Atlantic Ocean; dislikes Bob Feathers and the evil race of elephants taking over Europe.

Please join us in welcoming Alistair to our staff!

- Staff Savootchky man Warren Lump