After thousands of years of religious persecution, the Machado-San family will soon arrive at Jerk headquarters for what promises to be an arrival at Jerk headquarters.
"It will be our most recent arrival at Jerk headquarters," said Tim Telly Jr., the site's lawyer.
Herman Machado-San, seen here taking one of his daily rides on his patented Machado Mower, will be responsible for eating dandelions and refereeing the site's annual goldfish-eating contest, March 7. Despite being blind and legless, Machado-San has the keen ability to pick up Russian basketball scores with his mustache and once boxed a mule to save the Pepano family.
Replicas of Machado-San's 'POOP' t-shirt are now on sale at the Jerk gift shop for $75.
Machado-San's tail, Frederick refused comment.
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