Junes Located in Eastern Russia

Footmund Junes, one time Staff Foot and Urinal Investigator, was located early Monday morning after being missing since the Wallace Clayborne riots in early fiscal year 2011.

Junes



Junes, who lost his nose while fighting a hippopotamus in late 2011, recently received a Gary earring as reward for "Providing valuable intel to the United Association of Garys (UAG) in their international war on Gary terror." He also wears a pistol earring on his right ear to symbolize "peace for unicorns everywhere, especially in Ukraine."

Junes will make his rounds at HQ today, making only one stop in the 64th floor stalls to make a deposit. He plans to meet with The Glenn at some point, to discuss his future at the blog. According to his camp, he is an aspiring Henry and would like to take that goal to "the next level," perhaps at The Jerk.

- Staff Footmund Junes Correspondent Froglend DelMossis