November 16, 2011

Percy: Alive

Hey Jerk has obtained this special report on the condition of Yerd Percy: he has been found alive in his Merkle County home.

The 83-year old was biking with a walnut Wednesday afternoon when his bicycle collided with a man named Barry. No other information was provided on the crash, but Percy was late to his Pimple Namer's Anonymous meeting, and family and friends grew worried.

Percy had a piece of toast at 2:51 p.m. and named it Eleanor.

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