Locale: Cleveland, Ohio
Stadium: N/A - Played in Joe Guagliardo's parents back yard
Conditions: Snow
Attendance: 0
Recap
Quarter 1: Browns win the toin coss (HEADS) and elect to receive. HJ placekicker Lou Ruso kicks the ball 4 yds, where Browns player Harvey Henkle picks up the ball and runs into the HJ endzone in 4 seconds for a quick 6-0 lead. Not surprisingly, Henkle was untouched during the play. On the Jerk's first possession of the season, HJ quarterback Kurt Sherman called for the blue rhino, handing the ball off to John Hu for a quick 1/2 yd gain. Things were looking up for the Bison, and on the next play Sherman got greedy, calling the yellow ostrich on three (fake pitch to Hu deep out route by Zyn) which turned out to be a disaster. Pat Zyn never got off the line, as he was nude, and Sherman threw a 3 yd out route that was picked and run back for the TD. Suffice it to say, by the end of the quarter the Browns practice squad was up 49-0, and the Bison had run 5 plays for -56 yds.
Quarter 2: The Browns, up 49-0, take their foot off the gas a bit, deciding to rest up and play only 3 on each side of the ball. On their first play from scrimmage in the second quarter, the Browns center snapped the ball to QB Aron O'Malley, who ran straight through 11 Jerk defenders for a 99 yd score. Down 56-0, Hey Jerk took the ball at the 20 with a new goal in mind. "Lets get a yard" said tailback Skip Russo - and they did that and much more. Against a defensive line of 1 and secondary of 2, Russo calls the sneaky-maria, a trick play. Sherman pitches to Hu, who in turn runs the flea flicker back to Sherman - who hits Russo with a 4 yd curl. With no one within 20 yds of him, and Zyn passed out nude at the Browns 40, Ruso takes it 80 yds for the score. Lou Ruso adds the extra point and the scoring in the first half is done - Bison head to the locker room down 56-7.
Halftime Recap
Zyn passes out in stall 3, forcing Coach Hu to activate Dead Karol. Sherman runs into the opposing locker room nude, screaming about the state of international nuclear affairs.
Quarter 3: HJ start off at the 20. Browns decide to rest 3rd defender, start off with one man line and one man secondary. First play from scrimmage, Sherman end-around to Christensen, who lined up wide. Christensen hit for 12 yd loss and fumbles the ball, recovered by the Browns. Fortunately, the Browns are running a two man offense. On their first play, LB Dead Karol chases QB O'Malley back 92 yards into his own end zone and records the safety. HJ right back in the game, 56-9.
Quarter 4: Browns decide to leave. Sherman, while throwing 4 picks in the quarter, remains in the game at QB and hands the ball off 43 times to Hu, who scores 7 TD's uncontested. The Browns squad left at 14:55 of the quarter, so was not present to witness their demise. HJ lineman Steven Christensen carries Hu off the field, and they start writing a novel post game entitled "Bison v. Browns Practice Squad: The Game That Changed The Millenium." Bison win, 58-56.
Box Score
Notable Stats
Sherman: 1-17, 80 yds, TD, 7 INT
Hu: 57 carries, 347 yds, 7 TD
Next Game: V. Winder Barrow HS (GA)
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