Marty and the Penguins

By Staff Correspondent Junior A. Sherman


Marty was the king of the penguin people, a group of northeastern Vohl responsible for the abduction of more than 15 uneaten pieces of toast (Toast Monthly, November 28, 1994). They had appointed Marty to his current post during the election of 1998, just two weeks after the winter artichoke and aardvark-eating contest sent four produce managers to the electric water fountain (Murray Times, December 2, 1998). Marty was running against the incumbent, canary, who promised Chinese people, but couldn't deliver.

During his acceptance yodel, Marty nearly overdosed on podium, but survived.

In January, 1999, the penguins threw a parade for Marty on the morning of the 16th, but it was too late (it was evening by then), and Marty was instructed to insult a statistician, take two Jills and call for maps of Wyoming in the morning.

Blessed with the gift of a road atlas, they could finally afford a drummer and Marty and the Penguins performed nightly at The Above Ground Pool until Paul Penguin drowned (Penguin Daily, August 13, 1999) and the rest of the group vanished to Spanish.