8:46 GST - Elvis Schtonkman has been hired as Staff Penis, according to an aardvark with no knowledge of the situation or awareness that the Jerk exists.
Schtonkman
Schtonkman Bio
Name: Elvisberg Clive Schtonkman
Sex: Unknown
DOB: 1/1/1
Nose: Penis
Partner: Jaqueef A. Tisdale
Odor: Yeti droppings and pig fetus
Friends: Oscar Rainbow, Pal Fimply, Hal Dimpley
Likes: Penis, snap peas, going to the gas station
Dislikes: Penis, Gary, long jump competitions
Education: N/A
Experience: N/A
Please join us in welcoming Schtonkman to our staff!
- Woody Chotchke
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