January 31, 2011

Brumms Fire Back, Aroldis Pococcio Assassinated



FRONT LINES, IL, 5:27 p.m. - After the Pococcio's officially declared war on the Brumms with the swallowing/expulsion of Archibald Brumm, the Brumm family retaliated Monday evening. Aroldis Pococcio, longtime pigeon be-bop artist and "pastrami man" was assassinated near his mailbox when a Brumm plane dropped a mayonnaise bomb on Pococcio's head, killing him instantly.

Brumm family spokeswoman Veronica Crugg released a statement:

"The Brumms accept the Pococcio's declaration of war and they have responded with vinegar."


- War correspondent Kirk Anshelman


** Death count for the Brumm-Pococcio conflict: 2 **

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