Staff Crugg Grover Crugg Jr. had a second heart attack and perished, late Thursday afternoon. The 140-year old was training for the upcoming Poo Olympics when he collapsed and fell into a hole he had dug earlier in the day. The Hey Jerk community was stunned and saddened by the news.
"He was still alive until today? Wow."
- Hey Jerk acorn historian Junior A. Sherman
"Good. Now we can go over to his apartment and take back all the salt shakers and empty tissue boxes he stole in '96."
- Sandy Xavier-Mejito
"Well, it was only a matter of time, what with his addiction to owl feathers and all of the chap stick he used to eat."
- Staff editor Aunt Estelle
Funeral services were originally scheduled for February 18, but were cancelled due to lack of interest.
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