Rainbow Back at HQ

Hey Jerk editor Oscar Rainbow has returned to staff headquarters after a three-day exile in Prol Forest, among other places. Rainbow, who was believed to be involved in the January 29 murder of former friend and colleague, Bog Piso, was acquitted of all charges after staff assassin Sal Pepano confessed to the murder, early Monday morning.

Rainbow appeared to be in peak physical condition, digging several holes and burying clumps of hair from "my own head and the heads of some of the horses I was hanging out with", according to a statement released by Hey Jerk lawyer C. Vanderells Bwon. But he also had a red "Rainbow" tattoo across his forehead, suggesting his mental state was still at what doctors like to call the "rabid raccoon stage".

"He offered us all a bite of his salami sandwich and put out his hand, but all he was holding was a salamander and a rubber ear," said fellow editor Capolo. "We're going to keep our eyes on him."