At this time, it is known that Staff Editor Capolo is fine and resting peacefully at home, having been released after what Quinkley Doctor's called "extreme hysterical behavior with a chance of potatoes." It is also believed that the explosion was caused by a now-rabid Oscar Rainbow, Staff Editor here at the blog. The photo below was taken 4 seconds after the explosion occurred by Staff Doctor\Staff Sanchules Adonde Sanchules.
Quinkley (Explosion)
While it is not currently known who the seemingly euphoric lady standing in the one-time doorway is, the photo clearly shows that Mr. Rainbow was at the facility just seconds after the bombing. If we zoom in closer, we see the below shot of Rainbow in the window.
Oscar Rainbow (Drug Addict)
At this time, the FBI is not commenting on the substance Mr. Rainbow was obviously snorting, but reports coming to The Jerk indicate that it may be powdered mayonnaise. These reports have not yet been verified.
The suddenly rabid, drug-addicted Rainbow is once again on the run. Reports of his whereabouts will come as we receive updated from law enforcements and the court systems.
- Capolo, Staff Editor
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