ABANDONED REGION - Hours after being taken into FBI custody for the murder of Bog Piso, Hey Jerk editor Oscar Rainbow escaped, according to a cow with knowledge of the situation.
"He ran right by me, turned around and said 'tell anyone and you're next,'" said Ronald, a four-year old dairy cow. "I didn't understand what he meant, but I do think police would be better off investigating the existence of a talking cow, no?"
The embattled Rainbow, who earlier in the month spent four days in Quinkley Asylum, quickly becoming leader of the Nutjobs wheelbarrow gang, had a long history with Piso, a former colleague. The two battled over an adopted walrus in 1964 and in 1973 Piso, working under the assumed name of Judge Peterson, sentenced Rainbow to four days in a shed for possession of clam chowder with intent to distribute. In September, 1998, the duo created The Corky Unkerman email newsletter, but Piso was fired a few months later after a December B.U.I. (bologna under the influence) arrest.
"We'll do whatever it takes to find Rainbow," said AR police chief Wick Wexler. "If we have to arrest every single guy named Oscar and interrogate every single rainbow before we get our man, that's what we'll do."
No comments:
Post a Comment