Resume Posted

In Hey Jerk's ongoing search to find a staff writer to replace the Autoscribbler 4000, we've been accepting resumes since late-November. Here's the latest from Ernie Tolsen:


Ernie Tolsen
erniep23@yahoo.com
555-1028

Experience

* 2008: Staff writer at Ear Cheese magazine
* 2007: N/A
* 2004-2006: Creator/writer of online blog, www.cabbagetestimonials.com
* 1998-2005: Revising resume
* 1995-1998: Assistant manager at Frank's Pet Shop. Fired-July, 1998 for improper distribution of bird seed to minors

Education

1995: Graduated from Francis Winfield High School

Extra-curricular activities
- Debate team critic for school newspaper The Whelp (jr, sr)
- Junior varsity badminton assistant statistician (fr, soph, jr, sr)
- Played "Gerniger" in school play Percussionist on the Roof (sr)

1995-1998: Bachelor's degree in Pleniquanics from Vanderells Technical Institute & Cafeteria

2004-2005: Completed two courses at Something's Cookin' Culinary School.

* Expelled-January, 2005 for "inciting more than five mashed potato riots within a calendar year"

References

* Deke Randolph, editor-in-chief at Ear Cheese magazine. 555-6767
* Beatrice Tolsen, grandmother/landlord. 555-1048
* Randy, imaginary friend since 3rd grade/best man at my fake wedding (May, 2003). 555-1028